Is it just me, or was this July filled with more 7th step meetings than usual? It seemed that every meeting I went, even ones that were not step meetings, the topic was something about “Humbly asking God to remove my shortcomings.” Even my daily readers were all about the 7th step because it is the 7th month of the year! Does this happen every year? How did I not notice that?
Then it dawned on me that perhaps my higher power was trying to speak to me – over and over again! Perhaps it was important for me to hear the step in the Big Book as well as the Twelve and Twelve AND all the shares that I heard. So, what was the message that I needed to hear?
It has taken me almost the whole month to sort through the message to me. When I think about my character defects, I often find myself saying to myself – I’m working on removing it, or I want it to go away, or I ask myself, “why can’t I let go of this?” I think I believe that thinking means the effort must all come from me! The thing I don’t do is to ASK my higher power to remove them. I think it is all up to me!
About a month ago, my first AA friend in my new AZ homegroup died. Barb was 80 something and not in good health. When I moved to AZ, she welcomed me, invited me to lunch and we often visited before or after the meeting. I really miss her. After she died her husband let me know that he had packed up all the AA related things of hers. She had well over 40 years of sobriety and had sponsored many women. Dave gave me two boxes of things! There were Big Books, Twelve and Twelves, Daily readers and other bookd as well as many coins (probably ones that had been hers) as well as bookmarks and small cards with the 3rd step or 7th step prayers, Acceptance, and the St. Francis prayer. I took all the books, cards and coins to my home group so that the women at the meeting could have something from Barb. She has been a member for many years.
One card in particular was a Daily Inventory card. On the left was a list of character defects and on the right was I list of character assets. The card was small and could fit in my pocket. The next week I was the chair of the meeting and I brought the card. I told everyone that I had realized that I was struggling, and that Barb’s daily inventory card had shown me where I was making mistakes about the 7th step.
First, I had to let go of all the WORK I was doing to get rid of defects and remember that all I am asked to do is ASK God to remove them and then LET GO and LET God. Then I realized that I hated to take inventory because I didn’t really know what to do when I let go. That second column of Assets rarely occurred to me. If I humbly asked for the negatives the be removed, my part could be to try to feed the assets and leave the rest to God. I carry the card now and each day I have been reading the Liabilities, asking God to remove them and then reading the Assets and be aware of how I can do my part! Thank you, Barb for your love and support in teaching more about my sobriety and AA.
Libbie S.
