Every Recovery Sunday at my parish, and for our quarterly diocesan 12-Step Eucharists, we read Prayer 56 from the Book of Common Prayer:

"O blessed Lord, you ministered to all who came to you: Look with compassion upon all who through addiction have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of your unfailing mercy; remove from them the fears that beset them; strengthen them in the work of their recovery; and to those who care for them give patient understanding and persevering love. Amen."

The acknowledgment that our Lord ministered to all who came to Him reminds me of my own active addiction and early recovery.

Throughout my addiction, I prayed for God to help me. Granted, they were what most people call "foxhole prayers," but I believe God heard them and answered them. I prayed not to go crazy and jump out of a window like the stories I was hearing on television in the 1960s and 1970s. I prayed, "Please let me come down from this drug and not be like this forever." I prayed not to get arrested and go to jail. I prayed not to overdose and have my son wake up and find me dead.

With every prayer came a promise: I would never do it again.

Eventually, I began to think God was simply going to let these terrible things happen to me because I had made the same promise over and over and never kept it. Then came my final prayer before getting clean:

"Dear God, please help me. I can't stop."

Within a week, I was in rehab.

Was it a coincidence? I don't believe so. Was God hearing my prayers and answering them? I believe He was.

It wasn't only God's compassion that I experienced. At the time, I was working as a church secretary. The compassion and mercy shown to me by the people there—the staff, the Daughters of the King, and other church women—helped remove my fears and strengthen my recovery.

I continued to pray for God's help.

Help me be willing to go to any lengths to stay clean.

Help me accept the things I cannot change and stop trying to control everything outside my little hula hoop that isn't going my way.

Give me the strength and courage to be honest, to open up to my sponsor, and to share honestly in meetings.

Help me stay out of relationships and learn that I don't need a man in my life to be okay.

The prayers were many.

Was God answering them? Was simply admitting I needed help giving me the strength to do what I needed to do? I really don't know, and it doesn't matter.

Just as my foxhole prayers were answered, these prayers in recovery were answered as well. I regained the freedom to choose not to use drugs, to make healthier decisions, and to live life without the need to escape through substances.

It took a village to walk with me through early recovery—the 12-step fellowship I attended, and still attend nearly four decades later, along with members of my church who offered patient understanding and persevering love.

As we approach the Fourth of July and celebrate the freedoms represented by Independence Day, may I never take those freedoms for granted. Most of all, may I never take for granted the freedom from active addiction that has been given to me.

Recovery is possible. Freedom from active addiction is possible. Through the grace of God, the support of others, and the life-changing principles of the 12 Steps, that freedom can become a reality.

May I continue to share this good news with others, so that they too may find freedom from active addiction.