Like it or not, a new person at an AA meeting may ask, “What am I getting into?” If honest, it has something to do with his or her drinking. That first AA meeting might spring from a “suggestion” by your spouse, a judge, your boss, maybe even seen by you as the next right thing to do.
So at 8:30, on a Tuesday night, you found your way to the nearby AA meeting in the bank’s one-room basement. There you encountered 20 or so folks, all standing around chatting, laughing, trying to balance the splashing of their wobbly Styrofoam cups. One or two folks welcomed you. It seemed to be at a party. You’d timed your entry to avoid a personal conversation. Before the meeting started, you sat down by yourself.
You listened to the opening remarks. Later, you recalled little. But you did recall that your anxiety seemed to worsen with the appearance of words like amends, higher power, surrender, asking friends for forgiveness. The strangeness continued: a large book was mentioned, various “steps” of some sort were read, there was a lot of looking back into one’s life, the sadness of the loss of friends was mentioned. You were a bit nervous with all this opening the door to a person’s life; you also felt another cloud was appearing when the chairman asked folks who were new “to stand up, tell us your name”. People clapped and urged them to return. Just before that point, you started to leave but for some reason, you didn’t.
Something strange had flashed through you that evening. People mentioned a “higher power” of sorts, church-like, which you didn’t understand or pay much attention to. Your mind was on your alcoholic behavior and what to do about it. But as time passed and your participation in this Tuesday evening meeting and many others continued, you saw exactly what was meant by “Work the Steps.” But you still sort of skipped talking about this “higher power thing” and so you remained blind to the spiritual aspect of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then several meetings later, one evening you heard a lead from someone who focused on this “spiritual” aspects of the Program. He caught your attention and from then on you began to see and accept and understand that the Higher Power was an integral part of the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, maybe its backbone.
The speaker said, “Each element of the Program does not stand alone but together with a Higher Power provides a life free of alcohol and the way we live our lives”. You said you looked for aspects of this “new idea” (for you anyway) in your work toward an alcohol-free life. The speaker provided many examples of the connection of AA to a Higher Power. Thereafter, in your leads, you emphasized that fact.
In his lead that night, the speaker said he wanted his reference to a Higher Power to be focused, clear, to the point.
Paraphrasing what he said: that speaker said Steps 1, 2 and 3 essentially stated the essence of the Program: our “powerlessness” over alcohol, the acknowledgement that we needed a “Power greater than ourselves” to restore us to sanity, and we gave up “our will and our lives” to the care of God. He said we’d all tried our own efforts but failed and finally we had to turn to our Higher Power.
You saw that Steps 4 through 9 provided in detail how to seek “amends” from those we’d hurt. You said, “It’s a clear process to do so but it can’t hurt others anew.”
Finally, you saw Step 12 as a reminder to “carry this message” to others still suffering from their alcoholism.
His thoughts and understandings told me clearly that the Program was effective through our own efforts that were supported and guided by our Higher Power.
Bill and Dr. Bob knew we needed that support of the Steps as part of the love of Christ for us, His reaching out to us.
For me, that “Higher Power” finally became clear and strengthened my commitment to the Program’s teachings.
Jim A, St X Noon, Cincinnati
