I live in a town where there are lots of older people. I am now one myself. One of the topics that we talk about is Balance – having it, strengthening it, and losing it. I have noticed all these things in myself.

For most of my life I have had not fabulous balance but regular balance. I wasn’t great riding a bike. I couldn’t do a balance beam in gym. But for the most part, I never thought about being or having balance. Even while drinking I could mostly keep from weaving while walking drunk.

But did I have balance in my emotions, my relationships, my reactions?  NO! When I was drinking all these things were in my life and out of whack. I blamed, I took things personally, I lied – to others and to myself etc. etc. etc. I ran from my problems, didn’t even recognize what a balanced life would be.

Finally, I surrendered and got sober.

Now that I am in my 70s and sober half my life, I do lose my physical balance sometimes. I trip and land on my knee, or I ‘lose’ my balance when getting up while gardening. I walk on a trail most days and there are lots of bumps and places I could trip. Halfway through my walk I come to a place where I can walk a loop and so I started walking it backwards.  Walking backwards is a way to strengthen one’s balance. Try it! It’s not as easy as you might think. At first, I walked very slowly, often looking over my shoulder or carefully watching my feet. Over time I have been able to walk more comfortably and while I don’t run, I can walk at a regular pace.

Yesterday I realized that before I got sober, I walked backwards all the time – bumping into myself, people, life, and blaming it all on THEM or IT, but not ME!

Now I can strengthen myself with AA and comfortably walk forward and backwards with the help of AA and my higher power.

I asked a Chatbot to tell me what ‘balance’ meant in AA – this is what I got:

In the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, "balance" refers primarily to achieving emotional stability and sanity, reversing the chaotic, self-centered, and extreme behaviors of active alcoholism. The literature emphasizes moving from a state of being "far off balance" to a balanced life through spiritual principles and the 12 Steps. 

I am so grateful  for all the ways AA keeps me from being “off balance’ in my life so that I only have to practice my balance exercise to keep my body safe.