Not an easy nor typical Red Door topic—memories of our days of intoxication are the very days we run away from. While we might think or hope we have buried them, they sometimes return, rising out of nowhere.

In their first mini-lead, newbies might lean on stories of their drunken conduct. In the days of lead meetings, once-in-a-while, instead of a message of “how it worked for me,” attendees were confronted with a “drunkalogue” i.e., noun—a 40-minute description of every drunken event engaged in by the speaker.

Sometimes family members innocently remind us (but maybe not so “innocently”) saying, “Remember the time you…”. The sharpest stinging recall may be when you walk into the trap yourself, that is, when you stumbled on that photograph which pictures you “…at that wedding party...”

There’s another aspect to recalling those awful “days of old” and that’s when we seem to slip and slide and recall only the” good old fun days,” the days of “social drinking,” gatherings at the club’s golf house, family and neighborhood picnics, or days when we could have “two” and quit.

The answer to all this difficulty is right in front of us: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”

There it is. When we hear those stories of our days of rage and intoxication, days we harmed others with our conduct, know that you can’t change those days. They will always exist. Accept that and again seek the assistance of your Higher Power and the Program and accept that you cannot change it, no matter what. And recall that you’ve worked through those days with your work with your inventory and the Steps.

The same holds true for those “fun day” recollections with a different suggestion: Recognize that your drunken devil is simply using those recollections to take another shot to pull you back to the past into that familiar canyon of alcoholism.

“Shoot back” at the devil and remind it and yourself that those fun days weren’t so much “fun” at the end of your spiral—now come on, honestly, were they really fun? If you “can’t remember,”, ask your spouse or children how much “fun” they experienced watching your intoxicated activities.

Now about those specific recalls such as, “Remember the time you…,” or when you do stumble onto that photo of your gala face at that wedding reception.

Those again are past but ask yourself if that recollection is perhaps a “wakeup call” calling attention to something you may need to deal with. Again, the Program tells us what to do, for we are called to find “…the courage to change the things I can.”

Maybe you need to work the Steps to answer that question—work the Steps and free yourself of these old recollections.  Do a “double check,” review your Step 4 inventory, and again run through Steps 5 through 9.  

So, remember, while we like to think we can erase those days of drunkenness, we really can’t.  But, through many aspects of the Program, we can knock out their impact on our sobriety and serenity.

When the past “grabs for you,” go to your Higher Power and Bill and Dr Bob: they’re always with you and their arms of fellowship and strength are always reaching for us no matter what we do.

But here’s a simple answer to all this: just grab your worn “Big Book” or “Twelve & Twelve” —both filled with scribbled notes and cards from folks, and newspaper clippings you jammed into each…

…and get to a meeting.

Jim A St X Noon, Cincinnati