I’ve been sober for many a 24hrs. My Twelve Steps app says it’s been 12,869 days as I write this. Very early in my sobriety, someone gave me a mini bumper sticker that said, “I didn’t quit, I surrendered.” Ugg. Yuck. I don’t surrender.

Over the years, I would hear shares in meetings about surrendering to God. Yuck! I also grew up in a household where punishment was harsh, and alcohol was consumed all the time. People would say “surrender to God”. I would hear- “you will be punished”. The Big Book would say: “Turn my will and my life over to God as I understood that” I would hear, “there is no place to hide from being hurt”.

I needed a new higher power. I knew it. I listened, did the steps, and learned to pray to a higher power that I didn’t understand. I still bristled at the word Surrender. The third step was and is the hardest for me. Then at a meeting recently someone said: "surrender means joining the winners" WHOA—what???? I stopped in my tracks—Why had I never heard this before?

So, like any good internet searcher—I googled the phrase. Since AI is now part of Google—here’s what I found:

1.Surrender means joining the winners is a metaphorical way of saying that surrendering can be a path to a more positive outcome, even if it involves giving up something (alcohol). 2.It implies that by relinquishing control or resistance, one can potentially gain access to a more beneficial state or situation (sobriety). 3.This saying often suggests that surrendering can involve a shift in how one views a situation, acknowledging limitations and recognizing that something else may be more advantageous (turning things over to the care of God). 4.The concept of surrendering can be applied to various aspects of life, including personal struggles, relationships, and spiritual practices (all the steps). 5.In many spiritual contexts, surrender involves letting go of attachment to outcomes and placing trust in a higher power or a larger plan (Let God and Let God). 6.Surrendering can be a liberating experience, allowing individuals to move past what isn't working and embrace new possibilities (The Promises). 7.The phrase "joining the winning side" suggests that surrendering can be a path to a more positive outcome or a victory of sorts (Step 12). That means putting in the work and trusting our preparation. It means focusing more on what we can control and less on what we can’t (Step 1).

The author Anne Lamott is often cited as the author of the quote. It states that "surrender means you get to come on over to the winning side." This suggests that surrendering to a situation, whether it's personal challenge or the acceptance of something beyond one's control, can actually lead to a positive outcome or a more peaceful state.

The AI on the internet and Anne Lamott changed my whole outlook in a few minutes. Once you know where truth is, it defines everything else that has to happen. Surrender means you get to come on over to the winning side.

That is the truth as I have tried to live as a sober person. I don’t do it easily but when I do—WOW my life changes in a moment. Thank you to the person who gave me this quote and to Anne Lamott for sharing it first.

Libbie S.