I’m an avid gardener. I have been pretty much since I got sober. I remember my mother didn’t like to garden—too much work. So, I guess I didn’t come from gardening stock.

My gardens are entirely flowers, flowering bushes, and trees. No vegetables for me. I did try to grow them once, but I was too impatient. I pulled up some carrots long before they were ready. I wanted to see their progress—of course that killed the carrot—I couldn’t put it back in the ground to grow.

Recently I heard at a meeting: “Don’t water your defects.” It got me thinking about my garden and my defects. I water my garden almost daily in the summer. My dahlias, daisies, and delphinium love the water and the summer sunshine. I have zinnias, roses, fuchsias, and coneflowers as well as pots that brim with annuals (the ones that only last a season).

I also have weeds. I do not love them. I hate them. Just when I think I have gotten them all they come back, often much stronger than before. I’ve used vinegar to kill them sometimes. I tried mega chemicals as well as organic weed killer. All my efforts fail to remove them for good and often I end up killing some of my beautiful flowers!

So, what to do? I must accept that the weeds will always show up. Resisting them, hating them, or getting angry about them never gets rid of them. Like my character defects, my determined will, will NOT get rid of them. I can work on the weeds. I can pull up and throw out the weeds as they come up. Do my flowers hate the weeds? I think not. They don’t stop blooming just because of the weeds. They only need a bit of fertilizer (support) and sunshine (hope) and water (nourishment).

Ah the water! The gift of life we all need. If I water the flowers, I water the weeds, such a dilemma! I have come to accept that my defects will always be with me, just as my blooming positive qualities are. I can make sure not to water the weeds more than the flowers. I will water and know that my higher power can sort out the weeds if I do my part. I need only pull weeds when I recognize them (sometimes they even look like flowers) and let them go! Then I do my best to clear my garden of them, celebrate, and share my flowers.

I don’t water my defects by encouraging them or feeding them much anymore. I know my higher power, if I only ask, will take care of them.

Libbie S