I entered the Program, an alcoholic. I wasn’t told to sit in the “newbie chair.” No one called attention to me. Probably, when the chair asked if there were any “newcomers present,” I may have sat still, not saying a word. But when Mike asked, “How are you?” I felt he really wanted to know! But the fact is that from that first day, I really felt accepted as I appeared, just a drunk seeking help.

I must admit I don’t always carry that level of acceptance into my everyday normal interaction with people. I might ask, maybe, a bit of background and perhaps superficial information: high school, residence, and of course, the Big One, “Do you know …?” By doing so, I fear I might pigeon-hole who and what I think they are?

Learning new things about people is interesting -- their hobbies, travels, schools -- it can be just plain fun, but “pigeon-holing” is not fair. It’s more game-playing and we already have more than enough of that in our lives. Worse, we might tie them into our preconceived notions, or worse yet, reflect our prejudices. There is sometimes an element of fear on our part and maybe in some cases it’s justified.   

Perhaps the introductory question really should be phrased as words like, “How are you today, how has your weekend been?” and said as if I really mean it. From that, why can’t we answer with some feeling that our response is the truth?

I view Jesus as my Higher Power. He’d ask, “What can I do for you?” Why can’t I treat people in the same manner? “I understand your story … been there.” As recovering alcoholics we have the obligation to share our message of hope. Would my Higher Power expect anything less than that in our normal everyday conversations? Doesn’t He call us to reach out? For some reason today we tend to avoid or discourage, to shy away from “getting to close” to someone.

I need to remember to ask, “How have things been this week?” and really mean it.  And if asked, respond truthfully. Our Higher Power in the Program calls us to mean it. Is there any reason we should prejudge a person, or dig into our prejudices to avoid deepening our relationship?

Once again, the Program teaches us new ways to live all aspects of our lives.

JRA, St. X Noon

Again, how are we treated as newbies at a meeting? We say, “Glad you’re here, you’re always welcome.” That’s about it. We may not even get their last name or email address. What would our Higher Power say to that newbie? Probably,” Welcome, glad you’re here.” I doubt the question would be, “Where did you go to high school?”

I’m trying to grow up and learn to accept people as they are and not prejudge or burden them with a cross examination to learn where they went to high school, etc., etc. Heck, by this “preselection “process we may (probably?) miss a lot of good and interesting persons, or if we stay open, we might come across a practicing alcoholic seeking help or one in recovery – Yikes!

JRA, St X Noon.