I've been meditating a good deal lately on the alcoholic death, and how so very few of us experience even the beginnings of recovery. I've heard so many stories about our kind drinking ourselves to death, killing ourselves in drunken car accidents, falling down flights of stairs, suffocating because we can't come to, or taking our own lives in lost hope. Such a small percentage of us can reach the precipice of insanity and death to discover the turning point. We come to know complete defeat - egos perfectly crushed by alcohol - and realize we've backed the wrong horse. Through a barely lucid surrender, we allow the spirit to take the helm.
So, why do some of us keep crawling into death? Those of us who live are not special, unique, or chosen. It could have gone either way. I’ve settled on redemption after death. Why would God's grace expire when our spirit and body have died? It seems to me that those of us who cannot reach God on Earth can find recovery after human death. God never gives up on any of us ever, even when we have given up on ourselves and our own lives.